<Amor3 (Pt. II)

He had not one thing.



13 siblings total;

Impoverished coastal communities of Southeastern Lands of Mexico;

Rich agricultural mountains and lush temperatures,
All enough to dominate a small country’s entire Gross Domestic Product, yet,
My Father fell within the large Demographic of unfortunate peoples attempting to make sense of all the World’s disproportionate distribution of Wealth.

Misfortune, and Luck.

Why him?

Why his family?

Why his brothers and his sisters,

his mom, dad, and everyone else he cared of?

Why him?

Why was he there?

Why were there other children who had more?

Why did his family have less?


How is it that in World where there are people who have so much,

there are people who still have so little?

The Story of Jesus;
What a Blessing.

The Church.
The Gifts.
The only time he’d ever receive a blessing.

He came from little to nothing.
The only privilege he had was his ability to breathe.
The rest he would have to slave for through time.

The only Freedom he knew came in the form of a country;
The United States of America,

Where equality is fought for and given to those who dared to believe.

What is worth Believing in?

What was my father thinking?!

Or so, that’s what my Mother’s family would imply and express to him when they first found out about my conception.
“Doesn’t he see that she has enough to deal with?
What does he plan to gain?!”

I can sense the panic in their echoes even today, especially from my grandmother’s voice.

I imagine my dad shaking his head, thinking, “Well, I have my citizenship, I have money saved up, and I have a job. What more could I ask of from marrying the mother of my unborn son?”

My father was 24 at the time he found out the news, and he had immense faith that my birth indicated something much greater than just the very start of my life.

My father always believed I carried something special,

and he had a knack for imposing his belief on me innumerously.

He sold the idea that I was somehow Divinely Conceived;

For the longest time I was convinced to believe my life’s meaning was exceptional by some strange remarkable work of a Deity.

There is only one rudimentary problem:
I am not Special.

I never before expressed any signs of extraordinary talents,  and I had no skill that would propel the benchmarks of our Human Innovations;
If anything, I grew up always being just a below “average” kid where even I was sometimes obliged to attend summer school sessions due to my conceived mediocrity.

I was always just a prodigious failure, even at birth.

My father willingly lied to me, and I hated him for it. I burned in fury knowing that this man who claimed to do everything for my greater good consciously deceived me out of some romantically poetic infatuation with Divine Intervention.
Vengeance was set in my eyes, and it wouldn’t be long before retribution ignited the very will that carried him to enact deceit upon me.
Silenced silence.
My father lied all that time, yet somehow still revealed an inconspicuous Truth to me.
He introduced me to the realms of Capacity and Vigor;

Intellectual Potential.
He consistently pushed me and questioned my capabilities.
He refused to settle as a man,

refused to die beside the nothing he was born with,

where there would ultimately be not a difference for his dear offspring.
He denied the possibility of continuing in a state of complacency,
and it would be his only eternal gift towards his precious son.

I so desperately awaited a friend in my father, but long found in sorrowful self defeat that I was expecting something he was never given by anyone around him.
I was instead blessed by my unimaginably loving father with the power of Clarity hidden in all of the mist of our unrecognizable accumulated ideologies.

This Clarity leads me to pursue an inherent change in our lives, something far greater than what we’ve allowed ourselves to recognize in the entirety of our time.

There never was, and still is no such thing as a “foolish” person, yet, obstinately foolish decisions are the only trademarks that we continue to enable by choice, where people too frequently fail to embrace alternate possibilities.

I am here by choice to alleviate our people and this world of the most profound ignorances that dwell upon and amid us:

Denial, Regret, Fear, and Apathy.

What is it like to be Alive?

What is it like being a Human Being?

Is it Simple?

And lastly,

What would the World look like if any of us had nothing to fear?


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