Queue

The great thing about being a writer is that you’re Living, and while you live, you can Write, indefinitely.

You can change the World while you live and breathe, and that is what cultivates the pen and paper both together;

Anyone can and does write anything, but you’ve decided to write in hopes of becoming what people need one way or another.

In this world, there is so much to write about, yet so little life to give unto others;

That is what creates a Legacy.

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Stubborn by Process

People “cleanse” out of sheer principle, but there’s actually way much more to it than that. People are transfixed by the idea that something “can’t” or “won’t” ever change, and is something I acknowledge in one of my prior posts called,

Love“.

Stubborn by Process” means we are bound to processes, and what I mean by that is that we need to get detestations out of our systems, whether they be injustices committed onto us by other people, or injustices committed onto ourselves.

Herein lies the dilemma:

Should we hold someone accountable for the actions they committed on us? Or do we sympathetically take into account what they did was their sole choice at that given point in time? [¹Repulsivity]

Judge others only as harsh as you would judge yourself, [unless you judge others as mercilessly as you would yourself.]

Merciless Masochists vs. the Sympathetic Sadists

You won’t believe it until you feel it for yourself, but everything has its reason, and everything has its cause. Not everyone is capable of factually or objectively identifying those reasons effortlessly, but who dare care enough to consider the true motivators of the people they cohabit the planet with? I wish I could have someone explain to me how one is expected to understand another individual when that one individual cannot even understand themselves first?

People are not ready to ask questions, unabatedly and explicitly articulate themselves, and furthermore, face dysphagic truths out of sheer concern of public scrutiny. It’s easy to write off our actions as “I did that because they did that to me”. It’s easy to say we were stubborn for justifiable reasons, and it’s even easier to handle other people’s stubbornness by giving up, walking away, and latching onto an intense feeling of disgust, contempt, and thinking the other person is out of their mind. They are stubborn for reasons as well, but perhaps the reason it’s called “stubborn” is because they themselves do not understand why they are stubborn either. The fact of the matter is no one knows why they do what they do, but everyone will readily defend their actions in an instant. Am I the only one that understands why I do what I do? Am I the only one interested in finding out the deepest truths of our lives? Is it I that only knows that the Meaning of Life is to Survive?

I’ve said it once, and I’ve said it twice. I’ll say it again:

In order to change anything you must first change yourself, because

“The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”

You fight irrationality with reason, not apathy.

You give people reasons to forgive each other, not regret each other.

The world has reason. Not madness.

¹repulsivity: the product of environmental stressors

via Daily Prompt: Stubborn

Dear.

There’s a side of me I’m not willing to regularly share with people who ironically know me well that I’m sure people other than myself have as well.

It’s the side of us we’re overprotective of.

It’s the unhindered ideal self.

It’s the side we love to accentuate once we’re in the face of complete strangers.

It’s the side we suppress because it cannot continuously exist in the socially dynamic reality that keeps us going.

It’s the heedlessly destructive side of us.

It’s the train of thought I’m reluctant to trust or not.

It’s the side I’m petrified even talking about.

I guess this is what it’s like having devils and angels atop our shoulders.

Repent.

The best way to confront an unresolved event, circumstance, reality, or situation is to express thoughtfulness and consideration, and as simple as it sounds to resolve a discrepancy or disagreement, ways are ne’er far away from disregarding the simplicity of said notion.

I ambitiously began writing a book named “Peace”, and it is about improving how well we get along as friends, peers, colleagues, and coexisting people of sorts, but, not long ago, I came to the conclusion the used vocabulary was sophisticated to the point where most of those with complex demographics most likely would not grasp concepts relayed without reaching for dictionaries in pursuit of appreciating the efforts I had in mind for what they are. That is when I decided to change my lexicon, but the problem—believing all I was to do was make minor language trades—was that perhaps changing something meant I was handling things improperly from the very beginning, and in retrospect of how I have treated people—my friends, family, or anyone else I wanted to make a point toward, I was undeniably unfair; I was so set on making a difference that I made myself ignorant to the differences between myself and any person I ever confronted that would indeed enable the changes I so badly wanted to make in their lives. I was the bad guy. I enabled myself to hurting family, friends, and anyone else I cared about knowing I had not given myself the right to impose any of my thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes onto people expecting them to “change” when I couldn’t even make a change in myself due to my selfish and self-righteous cause in the supposed name of making things better right here and now rather than later, and looking back on all the havoc I evoked, I wither away in shame and guilt for the unforgiving and inane pain I provoked and the ill-consideration I dubbed unto the inexperienced and naive among us all who still shall not at all know what fair treatment is to each and everyone of us until the time necessary to help each other reach those mutually beneficial and comprehensive levels of respect, consideration, and love is taken. So without further delay and digression, it can safely be said that the active knowledge and integration of themes consistently dictating our lives—Respect, Courtesy, and Empathy—are naturally not inbred within us, and it takes the accumulated desire and efforts of the people to consider and assess why we have done ourselves the disservice of disrespecting ourselves in the face of our more complicated hindrances.

We have yet not known any better… Not yet;
As an example, my father would love asking for forgiveness after a violent episode, and I felt his recklessness was utterly unwarranted in order for him to incite a point; which could not be any closer to being true. I was a child (or a kid), and I wasn’t “anyone” to know any better for myself, so I wasn’t yet conscious of the fact money was often an issue to many immigrant families of impoverished placements like my own; I was not able to just shit all over the place and still expect everything to be dandelions and persimmons. I had to get it through my unbeknownst head that my decisions had consequences, and so my father just so happened to let himself set an example that I would end up using many years later. What he did to me is what I let myself do to my six-year-old sister this bitterly cold Thanksgiving; Anger took control of my discernment in every physical aspect, and she bled because of my every selfish angst.

At the time of writing, she was six years old.

Why would she have even the slightest clue as to what “respect” is, or why would she need it in her life as the unassuming and undeveloped child that she is? She does NOT even understand her own FEELINGS or why she feels the way she does, so..tell me why the fuck I expected so much out of her when my father couldn’t even see me live out his expectations when I was her same age??? Why the fuck would I put her through all that bullshit when I detested, deplored, and disowned my father for doing the same to me? WHY??????????

Why do we treat each other like adults when we don’t fucking explain these basic fucking ideas to each other? Why the fuck do we assume that we’re simply going to be conscious of certain concepts or elements in our lives. WHY. THEE. ACTUAL. FUCK!

why

WHY WHY WHY WHY WHYYYYYYYY—these are themes I have to battle with over the length of my generation; and even more regretfully, are feelings I face over my one lifetime…

Untitled

Close our eyes to soon day dream
Dark as night but blue and green
Dance along the space between
I or you where love is true
Where time is fun and meaningful
So kind is life and beautiful
To wish to live in fearlessness
Adhere to see what we don’t miss
All darkness is for us to find
The broken love longing to shine
Just like a day where skies are clear
But clouds with rain are always near
Here to pour for blossoming
Planting hope in Everything.

Worth.

If you leave, nothing happens; At least, nothing will happen anymore.

If you stay, you’re a part of the picture.

If you decide to stay, you help me, and I you.

Can you help me?

Would you like to help me?

I want you to help me. I want you to help me understand.

You don’t have to do much.

All I ask of you is live. I ask that you keep living;

Keep breathing.

Keep staying here,

with me.

You are important.

I need you;

and I imagine you would need me, but only if you want to need me.

I need you; I’ve made up my mind

You are my partner, too.

You are a friend;

My friend,

and this journey is lonelier without you.

You are important to me.

Can you, and will you stay?

The fourth Side.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Have you always been called pretty, or, in general have you always been told that you’re a good looking person?

What do you think makes a person beautiful? The inside or the outside?

I can’t say that I’m absolutely happy with how people treat themselves, or others.

I can’t say I’m happy with how we’ve been treating each other.

Why do we treat each other the way we do?

Why are we so sensitive?

Four

Every one and Every thing has a history;

That’s what the coin’s fourth side is all about, and that is what “Predisposition” is all about (where Predisposition is defined as the likelihood of suffering from a particular condition or attitude.)

What do you suffer from, and what personal challenges are you facing?

Why do you think things have turned out the way that they have up to this point, and what are you having trouble understanding?

Have your parents treated you fairly?

Have they shown you the love you always wanted and needed when you were raised?

Have you been fair to people?

Do you think we get farther faster when we work together, or when we’re working against each other?

Have you ever wished to understand how or why the World is, or did you never receive your answers?

Were your parents bad at explaining things to you, or have they acted as if your opinion was always irrelevant?

Do you think it’s possible for somebody to never truly understand themselves or ever clearly explain themselves to someone else if that somebody’s parents never knew how to explain themselves either?

Is it fair to not understand yourself?

Four

It’s the Inside that makes the outside beautiful. Not the other way around.

What do you see when you look in the mirror?

Beautiful Madness—Self Discovery and Growth